Theory of the Dheggs by Uncle Bhai Gora
Areh Wah. A while back UBG was sitting with Some Elderly Alipor Men in their 70’s and 80’s at an Alipor Wedding. What an intimitading place to be. I felt like I was in Glatasary Istanbul surrounded by Gala Fans and the People giving the Speeches were Fenabache People. Such was the mood on the Table. It was 8.30 and Supper still wasnt served. Then Svoosh,You know Swoosh. His Grandfather said Cmoooon Man. Aloko Gaya Yach Kare (These people are going on). Wheres the Food?
Eventually the Food did arive and when it arrived the Timers were even more cross. One Uncle from Potties picked up the Menu and started reading. Prawn Patte for a starter, Garnished Lamb Shank and Kingklip on a bed of Savoury Rice and A red Velvet Cake with a Mint Tea.
Did they all yell simultaniously and said. ” Wheres the Bloody Mutton Curry from a Piping Hot Dheg and wheres the Milk Loafs of Bread. What is this Fancy Ciabatas.
Yes these Old Timers were Irate. They said the weddings of the Old was about mohabbet and Unity and They said Dheg Food is Dheg Food Man. Whats all this Fancy menus and cooking in pots and the food is cold. The Dheg Chow is hot and Tasty they Yelled. One Uncle said Benchod I attended an Alipor Waleema and there was No Degh Biryani. Only Cooked Modern Stuff.
I remember as an Alipor Lity, Weddings were Different. I somewhat have to Agree with these Timers. The Mohabbet is gone and like the Rhino I think we need to collect and Launch and Education Program about educating the new breed of litys to take over.
Oh Yes make no mistake. Areh Wah. As an Alipor the Dhegs is a sacred thing and LMA hall was Like their Wembley. They were like the top Gaffers(Football Managers).Large and in charge. No nonsence Timers that selected their teams and if you were not thourougbred Alipor then they told You Bhai Sit Down. They knew how to Skep the Dheg and How to plate the Food. They were not from Masterchef.They are and were a special Breed. Some of them are missed till today at Functions. A special mention and tribute goes to the Late Uncle Ismail Kola (A Alex Ferguson type of character), The late Rashid Dhegam, Kenter, Mamadalee Loonat,Jameel Mayet,Imtiaz Kola, Essoep Rajah,Fafaa and Ismail Akoddee and the Likes.
There was no such thing as Wedding planners and function Co-ordinators.
Weddings would last for a week. The Alipor Pit Bosses (Mafia) my granny and them would meet before the wedding and design the menu. There was no shortage of Chow. Mitchelin was the name of a tire. The mohabbet was second to none. Everyone was invited. If not for meals then for Dheg Chaai and cake and biscuits. That Custardy one.
There were no prescribed sleeping pills at that time also. If you needed a good sleep on a Sunday you had to make sure you had to crack an invite to a Alipor Function serving Biryani.
If you actually look back it this was a craft on its own. The Wood fire,the spices,the right amount of masala and salt, the right flame.
Uncle Bhai Gora also said a special breed of guys that knew the technique of dishing out the food was of utmost importance. You had to get the right amount of rice, hardly and oil and the meat and potatos couldnt break. Thats why they told guys from other Gaams to Sit Down rather. Dont waste time.Rather enjoy the Food
How can we not forget LMA Hall. Its like a shrine compared to Usumbura,Ben Venuti and all these modern Venues with Candy Bars and Fountains. Those were the days when Mohabet and Joy was second to None. And era of no Politics. All the Litys were like in Ehram. There Mums all shopped at Abram Store or by Aunty Gorys knitwear and they all had John Drake Shoes. If there were brothers the One brother would always dirty his clothes before the wedding even started and get Walloped.
Even the videos of the Bride and Groom were special. What Numbers. The graphics and their heads would spin out and come back. Heres a song and a fitting tribute
As for the Big owes If you were given and Opener you were a Bozza. Such Special times heh and THE DHEG CHOW Has to be saved like the Rhino. We cant let it Fade. Do the readers Agree. Should the Dheg Chow be saved or Should we evolve with the Wedding Planners and Fancy Stuff. The Old Timers definately want the Dhegs. Whats your say