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Whats a Tuesday without our PUNDITS Laal Chavel and Ejaz Khan

Inside the Theatre
By LAAL CHAVEL (RED RICE) – Question Mark: Gary Neville
Terrible luck for Neville dis owe is injured again, he made a comeback in a reserves match
& got injured in training before the Arsenal Game. The question is, are we really missing him? The youngsters Simpson & Pique recently made impressive debuts in defence. They both look like they will mature well in the United defence. Evra’s overlapping runs provides ample diversity in attacking threat & he is starting to make the left back position his own. Brown & O’Shea are very versatile players both having the capability to effectively cover in central defence & occasionally in midfield. More importantly do we really miss Neville as a captain? Giggs has been standing in as captain for the last year if not longer & thoroughly deserves the captaincy on a full time basis. Giggs has matured & evolved his game in midfield, his versatility is priceless. Sometimes being used as a playmaker behind the front two or wide left or right swapping with Ron THE DON to bamboozle opponents. Coupled with his 18 years of experience & being a mentor to the lity’s. Giggs is the perfect captain soon to be the most capped Man United Player of all time and already the most decorated player in English Football history – meaning more titles and medals than anyone. His recent master class performances make him a pivotal cog in the works. His intelligent build up play & pin point crossing has steered the attack this season. I could go on till da F$cken cows come home about Ryan Giggs. Neville though is a born Mancunian who hates scousers, remember the McManaman head butt & the way he confronted KOP fans after Uniteds last gasp 1 nil win over the misery siders a couple seasons ago. At 32 will he be able to return with the same sharpness & defensive steel? Talk to me red army shouldn’t Giggs be full time captain?
Ryan Giggs was recently handed an extension to his contract keeping in at OT till the end of 2009. Chasing down Bobby Charltons all time appearance record of 759 appearances seems very likely with his current 732 appearances. The man deserves it for remaining a one club player.
Wes brown (28) & John O’Shea (26) were also handed a 4 year extensions to their contracts. The pair have remained consistent versatile performers for United. Evra has also signed a 2 year contract extension to his contract. Another prospect is John Cofie only 14 years of age & signed to the youth academy. The German born Ghanaian striker was bought for 250 K from Burnley.

Last Games – United Players involved in Euro 2008
Uniteds English players hope to seal their fate on Wednesday night, England need to at least get a draw at home against Croatia. Hargreaves returns to the England setup with Carrick also involved. With key players Ferdinand & Rooney absent. In Rooney’s absence second choice striker Crouch will lead the route 1 style attack. Cos that’s all Crouch is good for really waiting for the long ball to his head. Most attempts to control the ball he trips over due to the physics which affect the balance of the fluid in his ears, such is the distance between the ground and his head. Portugal captained by Ronaldo strolled to a 1-0 victory over Armenia and also only need draw against Finland with Nani also involved. I noticed Ronaldo picked up an award before the Armenia game from Eusebio, anyone know about this? Vidic and Serbia are almost out & United are pressuring the Serbs to release Vidic for the weekend match vs Bolton. As for France Evra could feature in their Wednesday game against Ukraine which is just formality as the French have already qualified. Van De Sar will make his last tournament appearance for Holland as the Dutch booked their final spot with 1-0 win over Luxembourg. The Dutchman will quit international football after Euro 2008.

By Swoosh

“I must have mentioned this story told to me by Hoosain Mayet a thousand times on the blog.But I love it. It epitomises the POWER MAN UTD had between the sticks….It goes something like this. ……
We all remember the Becks sending off and the Euphoria surrounding that incident. Anyways Man Utd traveled to the San Siro ,quarter final ,Champions League. Now we all know the swearing and sledging that takes place in sport. According to Sir ALEX his young lads found themselves in possibly the most intimidating stadium and atmosphere in European football today. The San Siro. It turns out that Diego Simeone was running around the tunnel as the players were about to enter the field and doing a war dance of some sort,screaming and according to Sir Alex intimidating the young MANC lads and Becks. Sir Alex’s words were to this effect. “The stadium atmosphere was intimidating, my lads were young and this Argentine wasnt making it easy. At this point I seen Peter Shmeichel suddenly appear from the back. The great dane protected the young lads with his voice.And at this point THE WALLS OF THE SAN SIRO STARTED TO RUMBLE……………………………….”Now thats a man you want behind your line of defense…………..

I thought let me also get in on the act involving Super Tuesdays. Thought I will start a post that links to LEGENDS THAT SHOOK THE BLOG.
Il start with Best Goalkeepers of All Time. So heres my post on Super Tuesdays.After All I am the host.
So when we speak goalkeepers, obviously for me there is only one goalkeeper that comes to mind. And Once again Im not being biased, Gigi Buffon is currently the best stopper of all time and well so is his price Tag. When Italy were playing a vital playoff for France 98 in the sub zero and misty temperatures of Russia, a skinny 17 year old had to take the sticks when Pagliuca got injured. He hasnt looked back ever since and in Germany 2006 kept Italy in the tournament with some outstanding saves, particularly the one off the Zidane header in extra time. And well we all see Buffon in action.
If we go back a decade then perhaps names like Shmeichel, Oliver Khan, Ike Cassias, Barthez whom I never rated and thought was more of a clown,Seaman and a host of names stand out.

In the 80’s well guys like Peter Shilton,Gary Baily, Zubizaretta, Zenga, Dasaev from Russia were cult fugures. Theres no safer feeling when you have someone in the sticks thats safe and solid. Oh and how could we forget Ray Clemence.

If we go back an era then names like Yashin,Gordon Banks come to the fray

Now on the same token If you have someone thats a MUGG in the
poles ,like our brothers MAN UTD had,then goalkeeping is another story. Now before these baS@#rds start slating me. Lets have a look. 1. Barthez, 2. Jim Leighton. 3. Massimo Taibi, 4. Marc Bosnich. All Sellers to the highest degree and couldnt fill a void left by the great DANE. I rememeber their clowning and soft goals.

Although one must not forget David Calamity James. This MUGG f#4ken sold us time and time again. Especially against the MANCS. And on a local scene how could we forget our very own Bryan Spiderman Baloi.
So behind great defenders lies a harem for perhaps the most important player on the field. The Goalkeeper.Perhaps looked by many as the easiest position, coming up against the best attacking players of all Time is a mean feat. One error of judgement can lay to rest their claim in the quest for ultimate legendry status.



Liverpool have been plagued by injuries to key players in Recent times , which has been one of the reasons that they haven’t managed to get off to the flyer everyone expected of them. There is no real replacement in the Red Ranks to fill the gap that Daniel Agger’s injury has opened up, and Liverpool have done well to reamin unbeaten this eason so far, alongside Arsenal they are the only two teams unbeaten as yet. Carragher suffered a punctured lung and has done well to get back (excuse the pun) to help the struggling defense. Come January Transfer window, Benitez should be looking for cover to his backline

Our midfield has suffered as well, Xabi Alonso’s metatarsal Injury ( similar to that of Agger’s) has also kept us back in terms of the fluent passing game fans so desperately want to see.In his autobiography Gerrard has heaped special praise for the Spanish pass master, and his absence is rather transparent, with Masherano not able to ping through balls in the way, as only the Spaniard can. Mohamed Sissoko has also not enjoyed any real good form this season, and should be happy that Didi “The Kaiser” Hamann has backed him to come back strong when he gets his chance, and lets hope he does return to his best , as we saw in his 1st tenure in the premiership. Steven Gerrard has returned to his formidable best, and I think its safe to say he has come out of that bad spell and really been maing an impact on games since then. Three goals in three games, keep it up Captain Fantastic! Harry Kewell has been sidelined for long periods so our left flank has been going though a dry period. He has since managed a few cameo appearances and played a full 90 minutes for the socceroos this weekend and this will lift the team as well. Jermaine Pennant has also sustained an injury so its been a rough few months for Rafa’s plans in terms of width on either side. Pennant’s replacement on the right flank Benayoun, has also suffered an adductor injury now, so General Benitez is certainly fighting a war filled with battered and broken troops, yet it just doesn’t end there …
In attack, super signing Fernando Torres adductor injury has also been a huge contributor to our lack of goals. His all important goal to hand Liverpool the lead against Fulham only further emphasizes his importance and lets hope “El Nino” keeps storming forward and bagging the goals for Benitez and the fans, validating his price tag and keeping Liverpool close to the Mancs’ and Arses’. Hey what about the other three strikers, Kuyt suffers from goal mouth blindness,so I guess that counts as an injury ! Injury is one thing a coach can never foresee and Rafa Benitez has done really well to keep his side unbeaten regardless of the injury “crisis” that has plagued his team, and fans sometimes oversee his achievements in managing to hold equilibrium and always remaining positive through whatever has come his way.Now with the imminent arrival to full fitness of most of the players mentioned above, and the international break coming at a time which has helped to bring the players closer to full match fitness, its going to be a more enjoyable few months for the Reds. And lets hope those Reds on international duty like Gerrard, Crouch Mascherano, Babel,Kuyt, Hyppia, Kewell, oh and Riise as well (?) will all be fit for the match up against Newcastle and indeed Porto in the coming 7 days.
More injury times goals, but hopefully, no more injuries !!!

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Comments (31)

  • Anonymous
    November 20, 2007 at 10:49 am Reply

    Swoosh you are biased. You forgot to mention the howlers 2 matches in a row against Utd by a certain Jerzy Dudek that allowed Diego Forlan to score.

    The errors by Friedel that allowed Utd to punish and a few other teams that saw him sold to Blackburn. I think a certain Sander Westerveld also had some clangers…


  • Anonymous
    November 20, 2007 at 12:03 pm Reply

    Dudek might have had his clangers against the scum, but to all the pool okes we’ll only remember him for is his fantastic match saving saves against Sheva and the penalties in Istanbul..

    wat about grobbelaar Swoosh..a man who had the nerve to put on a show of theatrics in Rome in one of the most intimidating atmospheres in world could you forget the 84 european final and the wobbly legs..

    what do guys think is the best save ever?..i would say it’s the Gordan Banks save again Brazil(pele) in 1970..near post header..pele already shouting goal and Banks miraculously throwing himself backwards and getting his hand to it..amazing stuff..

    best keeper i have seen in my time..hate to say it but Smichael was the man..fucking oke kept the scum in so many games when they should have been smashed..hated him..

    best goal keeper today..buffon is a class above the rest.


  • Swoosh
    November 20, 2007 at 12:14 pm Reply

    I agree Liverpool had some MUGGS..You rite Mams I should have mentioned Grobelaar. The Wobbly legs.

    But I remember the save from Banks. The commentators words ring in my head.”What a Wonderful save by Banks”

    And to think that they had no gloves back then….

    But modern era has to be Buffon. I debated with some toppies that nite who were from the school from Best. They rated Seaman and Shilton they say was better than Clemence. In light of the debate about English Football and the standard….If you look at England then they always had three World Class keepers. Shilton,Bailey,Woods, Clemence, Seaman (who lost it at the end) as opposed to now where they cant even find oNE………

  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 8:35 am Reply

    Ejaz “KOP END” sounds like liverpool are in chaos & have no hope of winning the premiership.
    honestly I dont rate Torres at all he has’nt done much so far, he needs to prove himself on the level of Owen & Fowler. time will tell


  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 10:47 am Reply

    fair enough Chavil..Torres has been compared to Rush and i think that’s a bit premature..but that’s what normally happens when you have a big money signing..

    4 you to to say that you don’t rate Torres seriously undermines your football expertise..the man is no Ian Rush(yet) or as prolific as a van nistelrooy..but to say that you don’t rate one of the most prodigious takents in world football is a joke.

    let’s take a look at what he’s done in his short stint already.

    vs chelscum – brilliant individual goal

    vs spurs – super downward header to get a draw

    vs reading – one of the most impressive individual performances..was kicked from pillar to post, but not a single moan and 3 fantastic goals.

    vs fulham – another brilliant indvidual effort

    vs Derby – another 2 impressive strikes..

    i can’t fathom what would promt you to make such a stupid comment..could it be the fact that you’ve not watched a single game that Torres featured in yet you all of a sudden the football expert on the pool players..

    Stick to writing about your least the yoonited okes will take u seriously..


  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 1:50 pm Reply

    Memz liverpool are on the brink of getting knocked out in europe.

    where was Torres?
    it would be stupid to rate da owe when all you listed was a few goals & not medals.

    like I said time will tell


  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 1:57 pm Reply

    what a stupid comparison…so u don’t rate the oke cause the team on the whole have been bad…so darren fletcher and john O shea are better than say fabregas or gerrard cause they’ve won a few medals..what a load of kak!!!…you said you don’t rate the oke..i merely pointed out his contributions to the cause..we would have lost against spurs, drawn against fulham and lost against chelsea had he not done the business..

    your comparison is like me saying i don’t rate ronaldo in europe cause he doesn’t have a CL medal..

    yesus talk kak!!


  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 2:53 pm Reply

    Laal Chavil
    Talking from his From the Back end

    Yaa you are right, Torres is sooo bad that Alex Ferguson has admitted he was chasing him for a long time. You upset that he left the Red Satans in the lurch and decided to join Liverpool.

    He is brilliant and is going to be one of THE greats of Europe, not just Liverpool

    So go sit with “go”
    Maaf, no offense wasim, you KNOW your ball, and have said Torres is something special.

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 21, 2007 at 2:56 pm Reply

    Thats it Memz,

    Blast the Red rice Guy for his ignorance !!!

    Ejaz Khan

  • SETH
    November 21, 2007 at 5:13 pm Reply

    Torres is class no doubt and will develop into a great striker but at this stage he is only potential much the same like you scum go on about Shrekinator! You same okes blast Shrek for being ordinary and overated but what has Torres done that makes him so much better than Shrek?

    Absolutely nothing! Atletico have struggled for the last 5 years with Tico and Spain have never faired any better than England at major championships! The Spanish squads that have particpated in the last few tournaments has arguably been far more talented than the Poms.

    As a Manc i’ll give Tico his dues but i’m waiting for the day for you okes to do the same for Shrek!

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 5:14 am Reply

    Torres was played alone upfront and expected to make magic week in and week out.
    Now, with all the bucks they made off him, atletico have rebuild a solid team.
    Just youtube Fernando Torres goals, and you’ll be able to see just how many of them he conjured up out of nothing…
    PLus with service from Gerrard and Alonso, the Kid will only improve, and under Rafa’s astute leadership, well, watch and weep Manc on “what could have been” for y’all

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 5:58 am Reply

    Memz dont be dof
    Ronaldo has won every medal in england including PFA awards.

    If he is such a class Ejaz player why is he being rotated.

    UNited have enough class, thers no need for Torres

  • SETH
    November 22, 2007 at 6:11 am Reply

    Hahaha Ejaz you dreaming son!

    The only weeping we’ll be doing will be tears of JOY! We’ll see wat Carlos Tevez has to say about “What could have been ours!”

    Give me Tevez over Tico any day of the week!

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 6:29 am Reply

    Anonymous mookhoo

    Torres doesn’t get Rotated, he was injured, try to educate yourself on issues instead of just commenting ignorantly…
    On your way to the Brain Bank, stop at Home affairs and get a Name.

    Seth, Tevez and Torres are both Class Acts, you guys are lucky to have Tevez and we are lucky to Have Torres, lets just leave it at that.
    Or we can tally up the goals at the end of the season.
    We’ll Judge a striker by his trade, no “he works hard” crap.
    Someone said Tevez is a Stylish Kuyt, I had to laugh, they both “work hard” but Tevez does it stylishly!

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 6:49 am Reply

    Ejaz Torres was rotated before his injury. Remember he scored that hattrick against reading in the Liverfool Cup? but in the Prem League games before that he was rested and alot of Liverfool oakes were getting on Rafa’s back about him rotating Torres… At that point he was playing League Cup and a few Champs league games…

    Your memory is beginning to fail you I see. Must be all the stress…


  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 8:13 am Reply

    He was kicked half broken by Steve Bikey and Co of Reading when he scored that hatrick, and three days later was the Birmingham game. Yes we were dissapointed he didn’t start, but in hindsight, it right that Rafa was being a bit cautious.He had a slight ankle problem too. Torres is one of 4 strikers, albeit our best, he still needs to fully acclimatize to a different type of football, which he is doing well.
    Its safe to say when fit, Torres will start most games.

    Ejaz Khan

  • azee
    November 22, 2007 at 8:34 am Reply

    Ejaz i recall u lambasting Kuyt the other day! you want him sold. 12 months ago the scum were raving about him. in 12 months with no more silverware you guys wil be blaming torres! the root cause of the kak is rafa and his signings and his rotation policy!

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 8:48 am Reply

    anonymous idiot..please read carefully my response to chavil..i said “your comparison is like me saying i don’t rate ronaldo in europe cause he doesn’t have a CL medal..”…which means that i rate the diving c$#t very highly..i think that he is probably the best midfielder in the world..between him and kaka at least…so what the F#^k are u on about him and his medals..

    also are u saying that because he gets rotated his not rated by a right ole c%#t aren’t u..stupid as they come…so fergie doesn’t rate ronaldo,rooney,teves, saha when he has them on the should know the game is more than just playing a fixed 11 every game..

    fergie, wenger rotates just as much as rafa..the stats are there to prove it..results have been not been good so the whole rotation thing gets blown out of proportion, just like last season when the press were on about the zonal marking system that rafa employs..

    like i said..stick to talking about yoonited..u don’t sound so stupid then.


  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 9:14 am Reply

    jeez Ejaz you talk so much kaak man….a few weeks ago you were blaming rafas rotation policy, now its injuries…WTF???

    Your comment that fergie and wenger also use rotation is a joke…man they do but they keep a core of players and secondly fergie is a master of rotation knowing when to change and not disrupt the team whereas rafa just rotates….bloody fool!

    and all your comments on the post are about what ifs and whens … stop dreaming and comment about now… well talk about the end of the season when it comes!

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 9:49 am Reply

    ejaz & memz OH & KOPOUT , “WHERE’S MARK GONZALES” ??? he was supposed to be the greatest signing cos you saw a you tube video of a free kick of his, now, his gone. been there, did nothing & f’d off.

    you okes are ust like the british media. you make players sound great, but when the goings are bad, you dont stick by your man, you lambast the oke.

    torres is in his first season in english football. yes, he has scored some wonderful goals, but, he cannot be compared to any of the greats as yet.

    let the oke play a couple of seasons, & then lets judge guys judge toooooo soon.


  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 9:58 am Reply

    anonymous..if you saw my 1st comment then you would have noticed i said that torres is no, rush, van’s ludicrous to compare him to any of the greats..but it’s equally ludicrous to say that you don’t rate him on the basis of honours..what did rooney win when he joined united..NOTHING!!!…yet he was touted as the finest young talent that britain has seen since george best..premature yes..but on the basis of performances i don’t think so..same with torres..premature to compare him to legends..but to say that he’s kak is stupid.

    like you said..time will tell..but he looks the business.


  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 10:40 am Reply

    Rafa is not an idiot to spend that amount on a player he can see has a wonderful future, and presently ain’t doin so badly either …

    We will definitely get our moneys’ worth with Torres.
    Spending 18.6 million on Carrick, well, lets rather leave over paying to YOU guys…
    Carrick still owes you okes a couple of million, make that 10 rather….
    Taking trip down memory lane now..
    Djemba Djemba “the next Vieira” haha, sounds like drummer in Mango Groove, and played like one too …

    Currently united are doing alright, Liverpool there and there about, its going to be an interesting christmas period,and its tighter than usual,so all to play for still…

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 2:45 pm Reply

    come ejaz, djemba djemba was better than thorben pieknik, who had a picnic

  • SETH
    November 22, 2007 at 5:23 pm Reply

    If you want to talk about Djemba Djemba thenlets talk about Shaun Dundee.

    He was supposed to be the next Klinsmann, he shunned SA for Germany, moved to Scum and then what….

    I’m still waiting to see him score!

  • Anonymous
    November 22, 2007 at 7:08 pm Reply

    Ejaz People that use the word “Clarinet”
    normally talk through their “back end”.

    Memz stop embarassing yourself. Uniteds classy talented players can back up there reputation with silver ware. Whereas the FOOLS just talk too much crap.


  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 6:45 am Reply

    Thank You Chavil,

    You have unwittingly admitted to being the anonymous guy calling me gay last week
    That Clarinet line was a dead giveaway
    Swoosh – hope you took note.

    I cleared it up that it was a spelling error, Claret was the right term.

    With a name like that, I’m pretty sure you are one of those okes with MANCHESTER UNITED on your back windscreen, side-skirts , and your numberplate says UTD – GP

    No wonder there’s no encouragement from your fellow “Laals” for your pieces, they just keep saying they don’t need a column, eish thats gotta hurt.

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 6:48 am Reply

    Another Thing Laal Bhai

    You keep making dimwitted comments to Memz Wadee, who knows his ball inside out.

    If you see Memz’s size, your face will stay “laal” forever

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 7:08 am Reply

    Ejaz dont pass accusations like that . I never insulted you & I was not the anony guy.

    It seems like you have kak with alot of okes passing comments. Dont blame the wrong guy.


  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 7:16 am Reply

    I expect an apology Ejaz.
    The anony guys should come clean.
    Chavil will stand by his comments


  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 10:27 am Reply

    I’m sorry that I caught you out

    Ejaz Khan

  • Anonymous
    November 23, 2007 at 3:09 pm Reply

    I’M SERIOUS MAN I NEVER INSULTED YOU. I thought you would be mature enough, but lets just leave at that.


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